BBC Gaza correspondent: Balancing safety of my family with reporting on conflict

Adnan El-Bursh, a BBC Arabic reporter, endured unimaginable hardships while covering the war in Gaza for three months. Living in a tent, surviving on one meal a day, and constantly fearing for the safety of his wife and five children, Adnan shares the harrowing experiences that pushed him to his limits.

The night his family slept on the street in Khan Younis, with the sounds of shelling and drones echoing through the night, was one of the worst moments for Adnan. Forced to flee their rented apartment after a warning from the Israeli military, they found themselves homeless and vulnerable.

Separated from his family, Adnan stayed with the BBC team in a tent at Nasser hospital in Khan Younis, visiting his loved ones every few days. Communication was difficult, with internet and phone signals often cut off, leaving Adnan anxious about his family’s safety.

Living on one meal a day, the BBC team faced extreme conditions in Khan Younis, with limited access to basic necessities like food and sanitation. The challenges only intensified as the war raged on, with Adnan witnessing the loss of friends, relatives, and colleagues.

The emotional toll of the war became unbearable for Adnan, especially when he had to report on the deaths of close friends and colleagues. The loss of over 200 people weighed heavily on him, leading to moments of grief and despair.

As the conflict escalated, Adnan’s hometown of Jabalia was destroyed, including his family home and farm. Forced to flee with his family to Khan Younis, they faced danger and uncertainty on the journey south, surrounded by air strikes and chaos.

The harrowing experiences continued as Adnan and his family were forced to relocate multiple times, facing the constant threat of violence and displacement. The toll on his mental and emotional well-being was immense, as he grappled with the trauma of the war.

Finally, after months of hardship, Adnan and the BBC team were able to leave Gaza with their families, seeking refuge in Qatar. Despite being safe, Adnan struggles with survivor’s guilt and the stark contrast between his current situation and the suffering of those left behind in Gaza.

As he reflects on his experiences, Adnan longs to return to Gaza one day but acknowledges the challenges and uncertainties that lie ahead. The war has left an indelible mark on him, shaping his perspective on life, loss, and the enduring resilience of the people of Gaza.